Smile,laugh for the day

Thoughts from across the pond



An email from Ireland to the brethren in the States.



A point to ponder despite your political affiliation:



We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold a Presidential election in the United States.

On one side, you have a pants-wearing lawyer, married to a lawyer who can't keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer who goes to the wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run.

Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate "Mc" terminology, and he’s married to a good looking younger woman, who owns a beer distributorship!

What, in heaven's name, are you lads thinking over there in the colonies??

Funny and Cute (thanks Tami)

My dear friends,

Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below:
How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.
The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.
Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically ap pealing), etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags.

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself....

Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you.

The Zipper..laugh of the day!

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a
tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her
turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her
leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached
behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her
enough slack to raise her leg.She tried to take the step, only to discover
that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached
behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time
attempted the step. Once again, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a
little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How
dare you touch my body! I don't even know you!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you,
but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

SMILE

SOUTHERN INGENUITY TRIUMPHS AGAIN!



I heard a story about a guy named, Wallace who is president of his home owner's association in a Jackson , Mississippi suburb. They were having a terrible problem with litter near some of his association's homes. The reason according to Wallace is that six very large, luxurious new houses are being built right next to their community.



The trash was coming from the Mexican laborers working at the construction sites and included bags from McDonald's, Burger King and 7-Eleven, plus coffee cups, napkins, cigarette butts, coke cans, empty bottles, etc.



He went to see the site supervisor and even the general contractor, politely urging them to get their workers not to litter the neighborhood, to no avail. He called the city, county, and police and got no help there either.



So here's what his community did: They organized about twenty folks, named themselves, The "Inner Neighborhood Services" group, and arranged to go out at lunch time and "police" the trash themselves. It is what they did while picking up the trash that is so hilarious.



They bought navy blue baseball caps and had the initials "INS" embroidered in gold on the caps. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand what they hoped people might, mistakenly, think the letters really stood for.



After the "Inner Neighborhood Services" group's first lunchtime pickup detail, with all of them wearing their caps and some carrying cameras; 46 out of the total of 68 construction workers did not show up for work the next morning - and haven't come back yet. It has been ten days now and the General Contractor, I read, was madder than hell, but couldn't say anything publicly because he could be busted for hiring illegal aliens.



Wallace and his bunch can't be accused of impersonating federal personnel, because they have the official name of the group recorded in their homeowner association minutes in addition to a notation about the vote to approve formation of the new subcommittee, and they also informed the INS in advance of their plans. According to Wallace the INS basically said, "Have at it"!



SO FOLKS, I THINK YOU COULD SAY THAT SOUTHERN INGENUITY TRIUMPHED AGAIN!